I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
