So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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