If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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