Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
