Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
