You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Randomize
