Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
