Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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