my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
