Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
