he thought i was a dude.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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