she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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