His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
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