i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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