I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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