you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
