I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
