an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
