don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
