So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
