I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
