So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
