I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
she peed on how many people?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
