What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
