even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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