just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
