Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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