i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
