what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
