hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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