Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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