a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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