its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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