State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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