Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
