do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
