It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
