she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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