He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
