For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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