We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
