Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
