do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
A+ Viking dick
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
