My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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