Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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