my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
