I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
