Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
