so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
