Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Well I just put wine in my tea
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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