Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
