She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
if i can run in heels then i can drive
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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