This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
