we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
