oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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